By Morgan Freret
Senior Writer

It’s obvious MTV is pissed about losing at its own game when it debuts a show with the subtitle, “The Real Orange County.” Indeed, “Laguna Beach” is a “real” – insert “lame” – version of Fox’s hit drama “The O.C.”
MTV’s new reality show is “The O.C.” without the drama, the parents or the good looking kids. The show follows what MTV describes as “eight beautiful teenagers who lead glamorous lives in a picturesque seaside town of pristine beaches and multimillion-dollar homes” through the ever-turbulent path of a high school senior. It, by the way, cleverly sidesteps any popularity issues by only devoting camera time to the eight prototypical “cool kids.”
Sure, “Laguna Beach” is as close to the setting on “The O.C.” that will ever be found in real life. MTV should be commended for excellent location scouting. But its reinvented version of a reality show is a major disappointment, with no gut-wrenching tasks to complete and no conflicting personalities chosen to fill out a cast à la Real World. “Laguna Beach” creators even cut those beloved reality confessionals that let us inside the heads of the cast members. All those great tools invented to create drama and peak audience interest were dumped in place of that which is “real.” Instead, a few choice shots of longing eye stares are supposed to help the audience “feel the heat” in the most dramatic scenes.
The result of this seriously lame judgment call is that “Laguna Beach” is “lagging,” as character Stephen might say. That is, this show sucks, and it still has that setup feeling that any show must with camera crews circling every scene.
The climax of the first episode is debatable, as there is no plot. It might have come when blond Kristin said to Stephen, “You lied to me.” He had been spending quality time with his blond childhood friend Lauren instead of with Kristin. Or maybe it came when Kristin discussed her crush on Stephen with a friend, once again a blonde, while painting their toe nails, Friend: “If you and Stephen ever had babies, they’d be so good looking.” Kristin: “They would, ‘cause Stephen’s all tan.”
Clearly, the unscripted dialogue is a high point of the show. It gets better later when Talan, a sort of second-string hook up boy after Stephen, talks to Kristin about his role in the developing love triangle between Kristin, Lauren and Stephen, “It’s kind of funny, you guys like have a relationship, but it’s on and off. You hook up with him. He hooks up with Lauren. You hook up with him. He hooks up with Lauren. I come in on the side and kind of like grab one of you. You know what I mean? Gosh. Our town is so small. We need another girl.”
Bravo.
For those interested, “Laguna Beach” appears on MTV, Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m.